pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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