She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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