is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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