just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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