Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
