Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
