But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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