Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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