I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
