I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
