the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
