I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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