So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
