I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
