I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
