i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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