P.S. I can't hear my feet
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Of course I have a pirate flag
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
