I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
