I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
