She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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