Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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