Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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