I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
