He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
