Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
