come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
