this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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