i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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