I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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