The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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