i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
PANTIES FOUND
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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