whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You can't motorboat a personality
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
