mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
