Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
