I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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