its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Randomize
