white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
