hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
pray to the hookup gods
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
