but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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