guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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