Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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