you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
