How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
