I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
