Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
