you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
