Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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