Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
