sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
