i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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