She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i've created a new STD.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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